Big Bad Barry’s Big Boy’s Hug!!

AFL hard man Barry Hall has gone on a hugging spree in a bid to show that he has no fears of affectionate contact between men on the footy field.

“I know Aker’s not too keen on poofs, but that’s just the way the game’s headed these days” said Hall. He went on to say that he saw the “signs” from North Melbourne’s Scott Thompson.

“Yeah, I knew he fancied me. He kept tryin’ to give me a bit of a tug and you know, touch me up a bit.. In the old days I would’ a decked him, but the AFL rules these days say they want us to “embrace” these sort’ a blokes, so I showed him a bit of me feminine side” said Hall.

Hall denied his response was “inappropriate”. “Me English is not real good. I thought he said he wanted a head “lock”, but Aker said he most probably was after a “job”!!

No Political Correctness Bullshit for “Plugger”

Back in the old days before Mr Demetriou and Mr Anderson took all the “manly” stuff out of the game, the legendary Tony “Plugger” Lockett had the perfect way to deal with all those “nuisance” full backs.

In a game against Adelaide, the Crows brave and determined workhorse Rodney Maynard was doing his best to piss off the great man with his niggling tactics. Holding, pushing, scragging, anything to put him off his game?

As expected, “Plugger” soon got sick of it. He grabbed Maynard by the jumper and said “you better stop it, coz I don’t want to miss six weeks for belting you and you don’t want to miss six weeks with a broken jaw”!

Ah, the good old days!!!

Ewe Turn Saves Adelaide Oval??

The troubled Adelaide Oval upgrade, under threat from poor planning and cost blowouts, has received a boost.

“Bluey”, a sheep farmer and sports nut from north of the city, has offered his “ram paddock” for use as the new oval. “Don’t need me rams no more, do the job me-self, so I told them buggers to stop fightin’, they can use me flippin’ paddock said “Bluey”.

In further good news, “Bluey” has agreed to fence off a bit in the middle and run some ewes on it to keep the grass short for the cricket pitch.

The SA Government is keen to go ahead with the plan, saying that at last they have an option they can afford?

Saints Put Hand Up For NAPLAN Tests

In a boost to the Government’s controversial NAPLAN schools testing program, several St Kilda players have offered to supervise the tests.

An un-named Saint said that the boys were keen to help out with the test for Year 11 girls, no matter how old they said they were? “We’ve already done some private tuition” he added!!

Fergie’s Garage Sale

The former Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson, has been busy selling off her assets to the highest bidder.

“Fergie” denied that she needs the cash, but said “if you want to take advantage of my daughters or my ex husband, just give me a call and we can arrange a price”. She hoped to get a few quid for her ex mother in law too.

“Anyone famous, saint or sinner,, I’ll flog off” said Fergie. It’s believed that a young girl, known to some Saints has asked Fergie how much she is worth.